Feeling Perpetually Behind?
what kind of race are you running? Tiny lessons and other tidbits
The last few weeks have been leading up to a quiet unraveling of a particular blindspot: I’ve been constantly raising the bar on myself for who knows how long. You know what that approach gives you?
The feeling of being perpetually behind.
Think about it. If you’re already 5 upgrades ahead, then of course the work will never feel like it’s enough. When you’re always sprinting into the next version of yourself or your creativity, you don’t get to stand in awe of where you already are. This makes cheerleading yourself really hard—and almost impossible because you’re already halfway down the track… again.
With that blindspot squarely in focus now, I’ve been revisiting old work with new eyes—and while I used to cringe looking back (because it was made by a version of me that I barely recognize now), something shifted just yesterday. Keep reading for more of that story!
Tiny Lesson of the Week
Don’t run your creative battery on hard mode.
We have a game console in our house, and when I play music from it, I often forget to turn off the controller. My husband always reminds me that leaving it on wears it down. The battery won’t just drain, it’ll start to hold less of a charge.
If “never fully off” is how you’ve been operating… Dude. Give yourself a real break. It’s far more sustainable, even if you can’t see it.
I’m learning little by little that rest isn’t the absence of progress, it’s actually protection and real creative sustainability!
In Progress / Behind-the-Scenes
So back to that major shift about seeing old artwork with fresh eyes…
For the longest time, I’ve had this kinda secret desire to have products—like, home goods and fun office pretties—featuring my art. This started wayyy back in my creative journey when I was painting the cutest little rabbits you’ve ever seen.👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
At the time, I was finding myself moving out of “fine art” and the more classic “paintings and drawings” into more commercial illustration. Now this was back in 2012… quite a while ago.
The paper goods and stationery industry had me absolutely enthralled. For one, I love having beautiful office things around me like notebooks and pens. And I also deeply resonate with the idea of giving thoughtfully—which makes me totally tickled by beautiful cards, wrapping paper, gift bags, you name it. I mean, if you spend the time to get a heartfelt gift, why not dress it up exquisitely?
Well, that spark has stuck with me for this long, and now it’s becoming something that I’m curious about really exploring. Until now, I’ve only barely dipped my toe in with Art Prints, which are reproductions of original work that can hang on a wall for a fraction of the investment. (You can check mine out here)
But now, I want to see what I can do with creating beauty you can live with and use, not just hang!
Check out a little before and after action of some of my past artworks that I’m now reimagining as a product design 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
I don’t know exactly where following this spark will lead, but I’m here for the ride and I’ll be sharing along the way!
One Win, One Flop
Win: In line with the theme I’m exploring right now of art on products, I’ve been updating my portfolio with new visuals that match the roles I’m currently applying to—surface design, print design, product development, etc. And seeing the mockups with my artwork is giving me SUCH motivation to explore this territory, not just for my curiosity, but as potential work to financially support myself and my creativity. Because I’m realizing my big dreams need more support and resources than they currently have.
Flop: Technology… need I say more? Ok, I’ll say more. As I was digging into my old work to find some hand-painted patterns I created, like over a decade ago, I came to learn that the way I created those patterns is now obsolete and the file is unreadable in this current 2025 version of Adobe software. But I will prevail. Check out a screen shot of the patterns below. I’ll be damned if I don’t figure out how to use these on something soon.
BTW, have you subscribed (or upgraded) yet? It’s worth it. Join this ongoing, candid conversation about building an energetically sustainable creative life. xo
Something That Lit Me Up
In a ridiculously serendipitous theme of events which started back in January, I was invited by a new friend to visit a creative co-working space here in New York City called Verci. I went by on Friday last week to meet this friend in person and check out the space. There’s SO much to say about the space itself that I’ll have to save it for another day, but the unexpected opportunity was what lit me up.
They have something called “Ship it Fridays” where they gather together to share whatever it is they are working on, just launched, or need accountability on. And I was invited to share my piece “At the Heart of Grief.” I happened to have brought the piece with me, so I was delighted to be given the opportunity to share the concept and meaning behind the piece with this group of incredible creatives.
That was such an unexpected, yet affirming experience to have and to be able to connect with so many through the piece!
Tiny Prompt of the Week
What’s something old you’ve overlooked that might just hold new magic if you looked again?
Drop a comment if something comes to mind—I’d love to hear how you’re navigating this!
Until next time, my friend. Create bravely and keep betting on yourself.
P.S. If you’d like to see more of my art and peek into my creative life, come follow me on Instagram. 🌹